I'm in a glass case of emotion

Firstly I would just like to congradulate Mr. Henry on FINALLY learning how to use Twitter, way to go bro. Now on to me, because I am the most important human being ever to inhabit the earth. My name is Brooke Wertz. Not Brooke Rosenburg. I'm way cooler and not as good at math. I'm 15, I have 6 siblings, and 3 dogs. I like my brothers better than my sisters, because let's be honest, girls are annoying. I like to play on my Gamecube, it's the only gaming system I thoroughly enjoy. I have a Wii, but that is too much phsical activity for me. I've been playing softball since I was 5 and this upcoming summer will be my last season ever, unless of course I play with my church's old person slow pitch softball league....2 of 6 siblings are at Georgia Southern, and I suspect next year 3 of 6 will be there. My dogs names are Shakespeare, Elvis, and Skittles. We re-named all of them except Skittles. My birthday is July 18th 1997. My favorite color is purple. I think I have contributed to The Laureate by bringing a fresh point of view and a unique writing style. I enjoy being sarcastic and joking around. I find myself very funny; nobody makes me laugh more than me. I think my strengths are that I'm funny (or so I think), I'm full of energy, I have a great work ethic, and I work very well with others. I can definately imporove on my procrastination. Every year my wiseness grows and I think I can now contribute with my new found genius next year, if we don't die in 2 days that is.
Bottom line I'm fantastic. If you realize that early on your life and mine will both run easier!

OH MY GOSH.

Mr. Henry disappeared during winter break! He left a note saying something about when he's ruling the Americas that he'll keep us safe.....I don't really know what he's talking about, but I'm glad I'm on his good side! Anyway, the journalism class now has a new teacher, Ms. Psychlienabecker. She hasn't got a clue and now needs my advice on how to run The Laureate. The advisor needs my advice....ironic. Well here are my Top Five Tips on How to Run The Laureate.
1. Don't get power hungry and try to take over the Americas. Remeber, you are a high school teacher, and essentially the only thing you have power over is your students grade.
2. If the staff has a quarrel they can't solve, feel free to step in. Just becasue it's a student run newspaper doesn't mean that students are always going to make the best choices.
3. If the editors need help, make sure the staff helps them. Also make sure the editors actually ask when they need help.
4. Do NOT let the children organize a party. They are terrible at it. You should spearhead all parties and make us cookies daily.....
5. Make sure to ALWAYS bring the students presents. Everyday. Mostly me.

Heres's my last lesson and let me tell you, this is the most important thing you will ever learn.
ALWAYS trust people who like big butts. They can not lie.

Alright well those are my suggestions Ms. Psychlienabecker, take them and use them. Use the heck out of them.

Reasons to join this awesome class....

Do you like writing? Do you enjoy photography? Do you like having pizza parties? Well if you like all these things, journalism is the class for you! YOU get to come up with the ideas for the articles, and then YOU get to write them! Also, journalism is a fun way to make friends and improve your writing skills. The staff are all increadibly friendly and loveable, like a puppy. Our advisor is really cool and likes to wear shirts that make people think of food. All together our staff family is cohesive and work well together, and we're always looking for new members to add to the family! Newspaper has many benefits, such as looking good on a college application, making friends with upperclassmen, and having a great time! So come out and join news paper today!!

BREAKING NEWS

The story of St. Nicholas has been around since the begining of time.Some believe him to be a myth, others, mainly small children, strongly believe he is real. Well we here at the BNN, Brooke News Network, have found the truth once and for all.
Santa Clause is fake. A rouse created by parents to be a scapegoat of sorts.
When presents didn't come until after the huge Christmas sales, Santa was merely running late.
When presents didn't meet children's expectations, Santa didn't read their wish list.

When stocking weren't quites as stuffed as children desired, they were on Santa's naughty list.

Santa was and is an excuse for parents to be lazy, thrifty perhaps, or even just skimp some gifts from their children.

"Santa is not real," states suburban house mom Joan Knight, "I just like to save some money and shop after Christmas."

Many parents have admitted to making up the so called "rosy cheeked, big bellied" preset giver.

The Magic of Slushy Magic

Why the Slushy Magic is the best product to buy this Christmas season

 I purchased the Slushy Magic last year around this time and I have been very happy with it. The commercial states you can get "a slushy drink in seconds," which is true. It takes about 30 seconds of shaking to make any liquid in to a slushy dream. The Slushy Magic is a cup with three special ice cubes inside that, with a little shaking, can turn any drink in to a delicious slushy. Anything from chocolate milk, to lemonade, to a soda, can be made in to a delicious slushy drink.

The Slushy magic comes in many different cup styles including but not limited to: disney princess, the avenges, and original. The only down side to this amazing product is that the ice cubes take pretty much 12 plus hours to re-freeze. Therefore if you plan on buying this fantastic slushy frink maker, you should order some extra cubes so you can enjoy it more than once a day.

*Insert Witty News Related Title Here*

News! It's all around us. Some affect us and some doesn't. Let's look at interesting news in our country today:
1. Politics, With the election coming up it's not hard to see why politics are pretty popular.
2. Drugs, let's be honest; when are drugs not in the news?
3.New Jersey banned smilling on driver's liscence, um what? Do you want people to hate the DMV even more?
4.Linday Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor, is someone actually hiring her to do a movie? Have you been living under a rock for the past decade?
5.Amanda Binds retires, then un-retires. Amanda, you're, what, 24? You do not need to retire.
6.Curiosity to inspect rock, Yahoo has this on their home page. Is this really top news Yahoo? Really?
7.Iphone now takes a panormaic picture, this is apparently exciting if you have  and IPhone, which I do not.
8. A cat by the name of Tuxedo Stan has a realistic chance of becoming mayor. Well I wouldn't want to be mayor of Halifax, Canada either. It's not even a real city anymore.
9.How your job makes you fat. Well I'm unemployed so....
10.USPS asks floridians to stop crashing into the post office. I'm not even kidding with this one.
Now let's look at some news that actually does  affect us, or me at least:
1. I'm pretty sure there's only 5 people at Lassiter that does not have an IPhone, and I'm one of them.
2. Football is doing pretty well....
3.Softball is doing very well!
4.I got a watch that has Batman on the face, thus the school is now on Bat-Time.
5.Dolphin Olympics is pretty much the best game ever
6.Homecoming is coming up.
7.Our theme is Disney.
8.There is not going to be a Homecoming dance because the sophmore members of LSC are slackers.
9.Yoga pants have not been added to the dress code.
10.Mr. Henry is the coolest teacher ever; 94% of the school thinks so.*




*I Made this up but it's probably true

Politics....politics everywhere!

Hey everybody! So politics. Seems to be on everybody's mind lately. I honestly haven't been paying attention to the candidates, but I still have an opinion. I think it's silly that the candidates are focusing more on tearing each other down rather than building themselves up! I mean, a movie was made about Obama and how horrible life will be with him as president in 2016. Who does that? Why focus on the negatives of life instead of the positives? I mean they are taking the "glass half empty" approach. I don't really like to be a Negative Nellie, or a Brooding Brooke :D haha. Anyway, I don't really know which candidate will do a better job, but I respect both for wanting to make this nation a better place. It's not exactly a job a lot of people want to do, especially with the state of the nation currently, along with the responsibility of an entire country. You're constantly under the public eye, you're judged by almost everyone, you loose the privilege of being a regular citizen....and it's still a job. A hard one at that. I was talking to Mr. Williams, the Lassiter chorus teacher, and he said "I think we should find someone that absolutely does not want to be president and give them the job." I'm not very in tune with politics, but I do not think that we should be judging the people running, especially if we're not willing to go out there and do it ourselves. Okay, well I'm probably not really the best person to listen to when it comes to politics anyway, so I'll sign off. Good night and have a great week!

Welcome!

Hey I'm Brooke! I'm doing this blog for the Lassiter news paper, The Laureate! This week I'm going to write a column called "Powers that be, this is unacceptable." I've been told there's some big shoes to fill....hope I'll do well! Also I've been assigned an "Onion" article....I'm worried about this one as well! I personally think I'm hilarious, I hope you guys share the opinion! Although I'm clueless about the idea for it so far....see ya later Lassiter!